How Marvel Should Have Concluded: SECRET EMPIRE

(Beware of Spoilers!)

How Marvel Should Have Concluded 

S E C R E T    E M P I R E

According to me, some random dude on the Internet

Alright, real Talk.
I loved the shit out of Nick Spencer's Steve Rogers book and the Storyline that saw said Hero to have his reality rewritten by Cosmic Cube trickery at the Hands of the Red Skull.

It was a clever and well written book which made even the lackluster Event Civil War II more interesting because every panel with "Stevil" in it was a possible case of him manipulating the Heroes to divide them further.

The whole storyline culminated  in the Event called Secret Empire. You might have heard about it. I mentioned it in the title. ;)

Now I won't recap what happened in the event, to anyone who isn't initially opposed to the idea of the ultimate good guy getting turned into the ultimate bad guy by whats basically magic and taking over the world, I say go on and read it yourself. It's a really good story for the most part, focusing more on character interactions and including more panels with massively emotional impact than most other Comic Events I've read.

Sadly the ending is ... actually kinda lame. 

After all the talk about the Heroes working together, finally doing what they are ment to do again and realizing that all this only happened because they had lost their ways it was a restored Version of Captain America that fought his evil self in the End. Meh...

And that's why this blog-entry exist, because I have a different ending in mind.

Let's get to it!

Now when I said I have a different "ending" in mind, I meant that. The Story in this scenario remains the same as in the actual Comic up until Issue 9.

I am truelly sorry, Nat. You remain dead.

The only changes in this issue are:


1) Hail Hydra!

Vision and Wanda aren't taken out of the Fight as early and additionally the Incredible Hulk will join Hydra.
I don't exactly know where he disappeared to after smashing the Resistance HQ a few issues earlier anyway.
The reason we wanna keep Hydras forces strong for the time being is simple:
We need the Heroe's Heavy Hitters to be occupied fighting them.
But don't worry we aren't gonna make things harder only for the good guys because...


2) You are no God!

Other than in the actual issue, Steve will get in his Iron Man rip-off armour much sooner but before he gets the Cosmic Cube installed inside said armour Black Panther intercepts him.
Time to fight!


3) All New All Different Issue #10

Issue 10 starts out with Black Panther and Steve fighting, given his new armour it is Steve who remains victorious, using a charged blast to send T'Challe flying high.
Wakanda's King crashlands to the feet of two of Secret Empire's mayor Players. Sam Wilson and Clint Barton.

Meanwhile, Cap gets a visit from Odinson who has switches sides at this point.
Coincidentally they are close to were Mjolnir happens to be.
After a short exchange of words were Cap tells Odinson that he is disappointed by his decision and that this is why he isn't worthy. They get in a fight (duh).
Now, Iron Man armour or not, this should be the point were Steve draws the short straw.
Or at least that would be the case if he didn't have control of the Hammer.
Using his own former weapon against him Cap smashes the Unworthy Thor to the ground and puts the Hammer on his chest so he can't get back up.

This is the point were we and Odinson find out that the Hammer has been changed by the cosmic cube as well and that it can only be picked up by someone who is strong/Hydra, not by someone who is worthy. An enraged God of Thunder shouts out in anger as Cap makes his way to the Cosmic Cube.

Again, he is intercepted. Incoming: Sam and Clint. Giving the Archer a ride the other Captain America flies low and fast while arrow after arrow explode in Steve's face.
Having taken on Odinson and T'Challa before, Stevil's green armour has cracks and missing pieces everywhere.
It looks like he is actually outmached this time.

Thats's when the Superior Octopus enters the Action smacking Sam out of the air.
He loses his grip on Clint who falls a few meter and hits the ground hard.
Before he can grab his bow, Steve kicks it out of the way and goes at Hawkeye with fierce punches and kicks. Barton is no stranger to fights between experts of hand to hand combat, being one of them as well thanks to training sessions with the very Guy who beats him up at this moment.
But after a fall like this, without his weapon and against an armored foe with superior skills, speed  and strength he doesn't stand a chance.
Before long Steve has him on the ropes grabbing him by the neck, ready to snap it.

Here Rogers recalls and mentions the time Tony Stark wanted to make Clint the new Captain America after the whole Civil War mess. He either assures him that he can see why Tony thought it's a good idea or mocks Iron Man for being a fool to think Clint would have what it takes.
Always the Joker Clint replies that Red, White and Blue aren't his colours, just lik Green doesn't fit Steve so well. He then adds that there is someone who rocks the patriotic look though.

In that moment a low flying Sam tackles Steve off of him, dragging Hydra's Supreme Leader away.
In the background we see Spider-Man fighting Superior Octopus while a beaten and bloody Hawkeye speaks to Bucky on his headset. Telling him that, if they want to go through with the plan they'll have to do that right now.

Steve and Sam fight it out. At this point Rogers shows signs of fatigue but he still manages to stay in control of the fight. He even manages to maneuver them into a hallway, more precisely, he maneuvers them into the Hallway he was aiming to reach the entire time.

Eventually Sam loses his wings and his Shield to Cap and falls to the Ground, barely able to move.
Both are in front of a huge metal door. Rogers puts his hand on the control panel and the door slides open slowly. Using the remaining time they have evil Cap tells good Cap that he is glad that he is here with him. He tells him of the World he wants to create with the help of the Cosmic Cube.
We get to see a few panels of his Vision and once again we see that this Version of Steve really thinks that he is doing all that for the good of the people.

Behind the now open door the incomplete Cosmic Cube rests on a podest of sorts.
As Steve wants to go and insert it into his armour he hears a familiar sound and dodges just in time before an Arrow hits him.
At the end of the hallway it's Hawkeye again, supported by T'Challa and accompanied by the Tony Stark A.I.
More and more Heroes join them, including the released Champions, Vision and the Scarlet Witch among others.
The Avengers have assembled.

Steve tells them that it is too late just before he turns around only to realize that the Arrow was never aimed at him. It sticks out of the podest directly under the position of the Cosmic Cube which is now in a completed state. At this point portals appear and out come Scott Lang, the Winter Soldier and Kobik.

We get a short flashback of Bucky meeting the real Steve and Kobik inside the Cube and maybe some nice dialogue if we still have enough pages for that (then again you could scrap most of Issue 8 so we'd still make it with 10 issues easy).

Back in the present, Kobik simply waves her hand and restores the real Steve Rogers inside the body of the man who had been Hydra's Supreme Leader for the last months.

Realizing what happened Steve breaks down and cries.


4) Secret Empire Omega

Cap is accompanied out of the building were a crowd of civilians is waiting. The moment they see him they want blood.
It is actually Sam Wilson who holds the Shield in front of Steve, who doesn't utter a word, clearly still in shock.
Sam explains to the people that it had not been Steve's fault. He tells them again about the Cosmic Cube. A few of the Heroes stand protective in front of both Captains but it is clear that not everyone can so easily forgive and forget. The civilians let the Heroes through and celebrate them but yet it's clear that among them too more than enough people can't forgive Captain America so easily.


It is clear that the road to redemption will not be an easy one for him.

Additionally the issue deals with the Vanishing Point and the Story of the Inhuman who got captured in the beginning of the event.



Conclusion:

And that is how I would fix the ending of Secret Empire.
Now of course I can come up with whatever I want since there is no Editorial I have to get back to, there are no Fans sending me death threats and I don't have to be in contact with artists and send them doable instructions for Comic issues with a limited number of pages.
Not to mention that a lot of people seem to think we only ever got the actual Secret Empire Ending because Spencer and Marvel got cold feet. Given how the rest of the Story was just really good and the Ending was not, that is a fair assumption. Or we are all crazy and see conspiracies where there are none.

And maybe someone reads this and thinks: "That would be awful, thank god that guy doesn't work for Marvel." And that's fine.
It's impossible to please everyone but this ending would certainly please me better.

If you have a better idea and you aren't a dick about it, feel free to let me know how you would have done it! ;)

Mass Effect: Ranking the Squad Members

Artist: virak - virak.deviantart.com

BEWARE OF SPOILERS!

So over the last few weeks I played Mass Effect Andromeda. Like... lots of it.
55+ hours playtime and apparently 91% Completion according to the youngest save file with my first character should make it clear that I am having quite a good time with it.

Being a mix between Mass Effect 1 and Dragon Age Inquisition aka my two favourite Bioware Games it doesn't come as a surprise to me that that is the case and I have a hard time understanding why it is received so poorly by oh so many others.
However I am a reasonable guy, I can see and admit that it has some flaws: The character creation is a joke, jumping from planet to planet to solve almost every secondary quest  is exhausting and yes the fact that the actual Hero of the Story isn't you but rather the A.I. in your head is kinda strange.
Other things are down to preference: If you prefered Mass Effect as a Gears of War-ish Corridor-shooter with a more cinematic focus over exploration on vast maps than that is good for you but we won't agree on that matter anytime soon.
However there is one complaint I keep hearing and reading that is just some serious bullshit.
Said complaint is: "The new characters are all inferior to the old Crew."

Why is that bullshit you ask? Keep reading and you shall find out.
Originally I wanted to Review Mass Effect Andromeda and compare it to each of the older games but talking about the characters alone is quite enough work already. Yes I am lazy, deal with it. ;)

Before we start let's get to the Rules: I'll only talk about characters that were actually Squad Members at some point. Suvi, Joker, Dr. Chocolates (google it), etc. DO NOT COUNT.
I'll also exclude Kasumi, because I haven't bought her DLC thus she obviously never showed up in any of my playthroughs.

Sorry Kasumi but your Shepard is in another castle. Or somethin'.

Is that cool with everyone?
...
...
Alright since I don't hear any objections I'll just go ahead.

 

24 - Zaeed Massani

Zaeed is your typical battlehardened Veteran Soldier Guy. And that is pretty much it.
There really isn't much more to him and if there is I forgot it because it probably wasn't very interesting.

23 - Cora Harper

When I said that Andromeda's characters aren't generally "weaker" than the ones from the Milky Way Squad I was talking about the other five.
Cora sadly feels like a friendlier, less interesting clone of Ashley with none of that lovable bite. Her past as an Asari Huntress didn't do much for me either.
I really like her voice though and if more of her dialogues on the ship would be as cool as the ones she has on the Nomad she would definitly rank higher on the list.

22 - Javik

Being the last surviving Prothean aka the mysterious alien race everyone and their mother spoke in awe of during the first trilogy one would think having Javik around would be quite interesting. And one would be right for as long as he spouts exposition about his civilisation and it's eventual downfall.
The man himself sadly isn't really of much value as a character since his personally only consists of one trait: Arrogance.

21 - Jacob Taylor

He'd probably be a really nice guy to hang out with in real life but that is not what I am looking for in a Mass Effect Squadmember.
You could kinda compare him to Hawkeye in the first Avengers Movie as the guy who is kinda there but you don't really care.
And don't go on calling me a Hawkeye hater now, his Comic Counterpart is the realest of all the real MVP's but in the MCU he only works when written by the Russo Brothers so far.
...
Oh ahm yeah.. Jacob. He has a really cool loyalty Mission in Mass Effect 2. Otherwise he could easily find himself at the very bottom of the list.

20 - James Vega

At first glance Vega is your cliche Douchebag Gym Bro. More Muscles than needed, a bunch of tattoos and dogmarks around the neck.
At second glance he is your cliche Douchebag Gym Bro who is actually quite self aware, more open minded than you'd think and sometimes even funny.
Who would have guessed?




19 - Liara T'Soni

The one character I never had with me in Mass Effect 1.
While she never struck me as overly interesting she also never bored me completely either and if being the one who is actually responsible for retrieving Shepards body between Mass Effect 1 and 2 wasn't enough to give her a pass then know that she is also always a supportive friend to your character which I'll consider a plus in this instance.

18 - Miranda Lawson  

While my initial reaction to Space PinUp Miranda was to throw her and half of what Mass Effect 2 introduced to the Series, out of the airlock I got to admit that she grew on me over time.
As an integral part of Mass Effect 2's mainstory and from what I've seen actually an alright romance option she is by default better than everyone I mentioned so far. And she actually turns out to have a personality if you talk to her often enough.

17 - Peebee

For now she doesn't come off as an overly deep character but she sure is a delight. She will most certainly move from this position over the course of the next game/s but I can't possible say if she'll move up or down yet.
She could grow stale or she could develope and grow as a person. We shall see.

There really isn't more to say at the moment.

16 - Grunt

Other than both of the other Krogans, Grunt is a young one. A teenager so to speak. A teenager born from a testtube.
Though he proves again and again that he too is a "real Krogan" which is a really huge deal for his people.
Sadly Grunt drew a shorter straw in Mass Effect 3, preventing us from seeing him develope a bit more.

15 - Kaidan Alenko

The Guy was so boring in Mass Effect 1 he became a Meme. Well okay that isn't fair but there is a reason I almost never took him with me back then.
Fortunately it's like they switched him out for someone else in Mass Effect 3 as Kaidan is charming and even funny at times. And being one of the two members who doesn't just forget that Shepard worked for a terrorist organization for a while helps as well.

 14 - Liam Kosta

Liam is a (sometimes) likeable screw up who means well and does whatever a Spiderman can...uhm... well you get the idea.
He is the mastermind behind the Tempests Movie Night aka the best scene in Mass effect Andromeda and he also has the best loyalty Mission in my opinion.
We didn't get to see too many different layers of his personality yet but here is hoping that the next Game will deliver on that.

13 - Thane Krios

A really cool Assassine with a really cool Family story, and a really cool voice who is also slowly dying.

What's not to love?

12 - Vetra Nyx

Out of all the "strong female characters who looks out for their Sisters" of which there are three she is definitely the one thet benefits the most from it. It helps that her sister Sid is a really cool character by herself.
However Vetra is also very cool on her own.
She has great ingame conversations with almost everyone, especially Drack and her Introduction scene alone is pure gold.

11 - Samara

As if being somewhat of a warrior-monk wasn't cool enough already Samara also got two great personal storylines in both games she appears in.
Her credo she lives by and her calm personality add a very unique dynamic to the Team and having to kill her own daughter who is a murderer is just some really heartbreaking shit.





10 - Jack

If Punk Rock would be a character it would be her in Mass Effect 2. As fun as Punk Rock is though, it's not especially deep or complex and fails to capture my interest for longer periods.
Fortunately Jack grows as a person in Mass Effect 3 almost as much as her Hair grows.
Seriously that is some long hair for someone who was bald two years earlier.
Badass Teacher Jack is in any case awesome and vastly superior to Prison Break Jack.

9 - Edi

Edi is probably the character that goes through the most changes. Starting out as a rogue A.I. in Mass Effect 1 she is revamped in the follow up game as the Normandy SR2's "Soul" and in Mass Effect 3 she not only gets a body, which resulted in a disturbing amount of sexy fanart but also falls in love with a Human, namely Joker, the Ships Pilot.
The best part is: While an A.I. with your usual robotic A.I. tropes she is actually a layered and funny character that feels more human than some humans.

8 - Mordin Solus

The most badass Salarian to ever exist isn't only a fighter but also a genius doctor who... really likes to sing.
He also gets the best death scene in the entire series by a large margin and if you played the game "right" he even sings then.
I keep saying that Mass Effect 2 was the weakest game and I stand by it but Mordin is one of those reasons it's still a really good game.

7 - Nakmor Drack

Drack is one seriously old Geezer.
He lived through more Wars than anyone else and consists of quite a lot of prosthetics.
Of course being a Krogan he is still a force to be reckoned with. He loves the things Krogans love, namely fighting things, shooting things and killing things but at the same time he is a loving grandfather, a father figure for Ryder and he is also as clueless about the extranet as old people in our world are about the internet. Seriously read his e-mails. All of them.

6 - Tali'Zorah nar Rayya/ vas Neema/ vas Normandy

Tali is without a doubt the one Squadmember who benefits the most from being a mayor player in all the original three Games. While basically a likeable but unspectacular teenage girl character during the first game she develops a great personality and becomes a keyplayer in the faith of her entire race without any of it feeling rushed, stupid or out of place.

5 - Legion

After Mass Effect 1 we view the Geth as mindless Killer Robots as we have every reason too. And then this guy shows up out of nowhere, saves Shepards Life and shows the Player and the entire Galaxy what else Geth can be:
One of the most fascinating races in a Universe filled to the brim with fascinating races.
In a way that reminds me of the Arbiter in the Halo Series who turns from an enemy to one of the best Space Bro's in Videogame History.

4 - Jaal Ama Darav

The very best answer to everyone who says that Mass Effect Andromeda's characters are somewhat less deep or worse written than in the Original Trilogy.
Jaal is a complex, exotic, sympathetic Warrior with a smooth voice and a layered personality.
Out of all the Mass Effect characters he definitly had the best start as that guy is your Squads MVP from the moment he shows up and he also has chemistry with every other Companion in the game.

3 - Ashley Williams

Oh boy this will be a long one...
So, according to what seems like the Majority of Mass Effect Players Ashly is not only a racist and a bitch but also a traitor. An annoying military tomboy but also a brainless Jersey Shore bimbo.
An unnecessary... eh.. I think you get the idea by now.
All this tells me is that too many people have never taken the time to get to know her and that probably holds true for a lot of other characters.
Firstly in a Universe full of Krogans talking about eating Salarians, a lot of Turians thinking that everyone else is beneath them and so on and so forth I think it's kind of odd to call Williams the postergirl for space racism/ xenophobia.
It's much more that she's a stand-in for the ignorance and fears of that plague like half the alliance in the first game specifically.

However that is just were her journey starts and yet from the get go she has friendly dialogues and a  sisterly relationship with Tali (which leads to her sobbing in grief if the Quarian dies in ME3) and over time developes friendships with a lot of Aliens on both Normandies. Liara and Garrus at least even comment on it. Admittedly it seems like that is the kind of development that never really gets a pay-off which I'll blame on ME3's short production time and how much it had already going on.
Furthermore there would be her hatred for the Humanity-first-Terror-group Cerberus to the point were she doesn't join you during Mass Effect 2. While unfortunate, because I would have liked having her around as my Go to Romance option in that game, it fit her character quite well as she is no one who trusts people easily, especially not when you spend most of the first Games Exploration/Side quests fighting Cerberus.


Lastly when you actually take the time to to dig beaneath her hard shell, she is actually a deeply layered and nice person who likes poetry, alcohol and cringeworthy pick up lines (though only when drunk enough). Ash is a flawed one which is something I happen to like in a character.
I've got a soft spot for her and she'll always be one of my favourites.

Since this has ended up being a long ass wall of text anyway I might as well add a random trivia:
In Mass Effect 1 Ashley was supposed to be bisexual, the scenes are even still in the game files.
While Kaidan was straight in the first game but became bisexual in Mass Effect 3 she stayed straight in order to balance the options for male and female Commanders shepards....I assume. A shame though as for a religious and by the books kind of character like her, having a bisexual orientation would have been another nice twist.

2 - Urdnot Wrex

Firs things first: If you played Mass Effect and Wrex died on Virmire you played the game wrong.
I don't even care if you played evil asshole shepard or goody-two-shoes Shepard as keeping this guy alive is the only acceptable outcome.
A bit like Tali, Wrex turns from a lone Wolf to a someone who has a keyrole in the faith of his entire race and like with Tali it doesn't feel forced. Unlike Tali however he already starts out as a complex character who can become on of shepards best friends even though he is only a fully fledged Squad Member during the first game.

 #1

G a r r u s   V a k a r i a n

I mean who else could it be?
Garrus turns from an idealistic Citadel Cop, to a crime fighting Avenger, to ultimate Space-Bro.
Vakarian is there in every game, has always been a fan favourite and goes through some great character development. No matter how you play the game, he is there by your side (unless he dies in which case you reload an older safe and make it better this time, damn it).
While naurally a good hearted character he remains loyal even when you are the kind of dirtbag who sacrifices the Krogans and shoots Mordin (you Monster!) as the ends justify the means for him.
Garrus is there by your side, be it as a your best Friend, or Lover and he has some of the greatest scenes in the entire Trilogy.

Superhero Movies 2016 - Ranked

Beware of Spoilers!

So Logan came out yesterday and it was pretty dope. And Lego Batman came out recently and it too was pretty damn dope. That is an excellent track record for Superhero Movies so far and I hope they continue being so good throughout the year.

That said, they probably won't.

My guess is that there will be ups and downs just like there were last year. And speaking of last year:
I decided to rank those Movies in order of how much I enjoyed them.
Yeeees I know it's 2017 by now and it's march and I am way too late to the party but who cares, right?

Now before we begin this I'll say that I won't include The Killing Joke (and anything else that I haven't actually seen).
I still want to watch the movie but I heard mostly negative stuff about it which is a shame as I liked the comic it was based on.
(Poor, poor Barbara...)

Now, let's get to it. We'll start at the bottom and work ourselves up towards glory!

#6 X-Men Apocalypse

Probably not the worst Movie on this list but easily the one I enjoyed the least.
I don't even know were to start with this one so I'll keep it simple.
The whole Movie feels, ultimately, pointless.

Half the cast seems to be about to fall asleep, especially Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique.
Xaviers and Magnetos on/off bromance lost it's impact a while ago, Quicksilvers scene is funny but has been done before, the whole Movie takes a detour so we can have a Wolverine scene and Apocalypse himself does his best to make guys like Thor 2's Malekith look like cool Villains in comparison.

There is no passion, there is no energy, there is no fun and it becomes clear as day that Fox is absolutely fine with riding the Superhero Movie Hype train without any intentions of keeping up with Marvel or the DCEU because that would requiere them to actually care.

#5 Suicide Squad

This Movie has just sooo muuuch wasted potential. They got the chance to show a different side of the DCEU, one that has a bit more personality, depth, shades of gray and fun.
But that would have requiered them to make you care for the team itself. Spoilers: They didn't.

Sure, Harley Quinn and Deadshot are great throughout the whole thing but whats with the rest? El Diablo gets to sacrifice himself for "his family" but that came honestly outta nowhere. Rick Flag gets to bond with Deadshot AND he even has decent motivations for his actions but he is held back by the Stereotype Soldier Guy role he was assigned to and... yeah that is pretty much it. The others are just kind of there.
Introducing all the characters at once but not fleshing out most of them was almost as bad as the endless slow motion finale or the portrayal of the Joker.
But my real main complaint has to be that they played "old" Hit Songs over EVERYTHING.
Yes I know it somewhat worked in Guardians of the Galaxy but here it just didn't.

#4 Batman V Superman - Dawn of Justice

Not many people seem to like that Movie and I get why.
(This) Batman is a murderous psychopath, (this) Superman is just dull and boring and (this) Lex Luthor is maybe the worst character to ever exist on film I mean ...seriously I wanted to punch his fucking face.
And it certainly doesn't help that you have to watch the Extended Cut to even get why some characters do what they do.

However I happened to see a lot of redeeming qualities in this one.
Ben Affleck as Batman works really, really well and he is even better as Bruce Wayne, making him the definitive Batman actor in so far in my book.
Then there is the score and the visuals, which are really nice and let's not forget Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman who really steals the show everytime she appears on screen.
Not having liked the trailers up to the release and not being a huge Fan of either Bats nor Supes I didn't think I'd enjoy the Movie at all but I ended up being positively surprised.

#3 - Deadpool

"But Matt", I hear you say. "You talked shit about the X-Men Movies just now, how come you rank Deadpool so high?"
Well, that is an easy question to answer: Because Deadpool was made by people who really wanted to make this movie. It was a passion project of a small group of people, one of them being the main actor himself.
Fox on the other Hand had little faith in it and even cut short the budget. Ironically that might have actually helped the movie as they had to make up for missing action scenes by investing in the relationship between Wade Wilson and his girlfriend, making us actually care for them as a couple.

That said I don't have a huge amount of faith in the upcoming sequel. Deadpool, for me,  never really works for a long time even in the comics were he becomes more obnoxious than funny after a while, making him a better fit for a teambook than a solo title. Clearly the world doesn't seem to agree with me as he has currently like 3 solo titles running simultaniously if I am not mistaken.
Back to topic.

#2 Doctor Strange

You know, I wish my two top picks wouldn't both be MCU Movies because I don't wanna too seem biased and a little more competition wouldn't hurt but I don't want to lie either.

Doctor Strange is another high quality Superhero Origin Story, this time featuring magic which means everything goes.
And daaaaamn is Marvel taking advantage of that fact.

The visuals are stunning, the fight scenes might be the most creative ever seen in a movie of that genre, the humor is, like always, on point and it's just really entertaining to see Stephen Strange develope from an absolute jerk to a powerful good-hearted Wizard (who is still a bit of a jerk).

#1 -  Captain America: Civil War

 

Well what else could it have been? Civil War, while not flawless, is a testament of longtime storytelling.
There is not a single wasted scene. Everything that happens, does so because of stuff that has been setup in earlier Movies and because it makes sense for that specific character. Furthermore the Russo Brothers managed to throw in Spiderman and the Black Panther into the mix without any of it feeling forced or in any way weird, Black Panther especially is tied to the main story which has the balls to not only go small, personal and emotional in the end, it also ends on a downer.
The Avengers, Earths mightiest heroes, are shattered. And the worst part is that there is no one really to blame.
Neither Team Cap nor Team Iron Man are the bad guys, they both do what they think is necessary and when the dust settles and the actual bad guy is revealed even he comes off as kind of sympathethic.

Sure Zemo's plan was overall convoluted and he lucked out quite a bit but at least his motivations are logical and crystal clear making him easily the best Super Villain 2016. 

And if that wouldn't be enough: The road leading up to the epic finale is a blast as well with the airport battle probably being my favourite action scene ever.

And that is my list. Agree? Nice.
Don't agree? That's okay too! Make your own list while you are at it ;)

- Matt over and out

2016 - And Why It Was (Born To Be) Epic

I've been doing this since 2012 now but it's the first time I have a blog were I can post it as well.
So here it goes:

The Video (which you'll see if you klick that link below) features samples of songs from Albums I enjoyed during the last year and me writing a few short sentences about them.
It's mostly metal-ish music but since I try to be an open minded person there is some other stuff as well in there.
Including Wrestling for some reason ;)

Enjoy!

VIMEO-VIDEO-LINKY-LINK

^
|

[Klick dis]

Review: Civil War II

(Beware of Spoilers)

I'll start this of with saying that I have always been a fan of Brian Michael Bendis aka the Writer of Civil War II.
His New Avengers books were the sole reason I actually got into Comics, Events like Siege, or Secret Invasion are among my favourite Comic events and I love that he has a fetish for putting characters through the wringer. So if you are reading this thinking it will be another case of someone shaking his fist and yelling "Damn you Bendis, you ruined EVAHRYTHING." you might want to stop reading right here and now.
Of course if you are someone who can handle a possibly different opinion than yours you are more than welcome to continue. Now that we've established this, lets begin.

I'll go forward assuming that you are at least vaguely aware of whats going on currently in the Marvel Universe because I wouldn't even know where to start trying to explain it all to you.
Especially since it isn't like I am reading ALL THE COMICS either.

Yeah. That's the Stuff!

Civil War II starts with a dangerous cosmic being attacking the Earth and its Goons. Luckily Earths Heroes are prepared and we see Mutants, Inhumans, multiple Avenger Teams and various other Heroes fighting together and banishing the enemy from the Planet.

That means it's time to celebr-...wait.
How come they were prepared in the first place?
The answer: A new Inhumans who only recently discovered his powers has the ability to see the future.

That's great! Or is it?
Two people have vastly different opinions on that matter. One is Captain Marvel who is pretty much Earths Space Cop #1. The other one is Tony Stark who seemingly has seen Minority Report.

You can see where both sides are coming from but nothing escalates just yet.
Carol uses the Vision Ulysses, aka the Inhuman I talked about before to stop crimes and catastrophes from happening uuuntil one of this Missions goes wrong and War Machine gets offed by Thanos in a ridiculous awesome looking panel.

I mean look at it. LOOK. AT. IT.

Now things started to get heated, both Characters mourn the death as Rhodes happens to be both Starks best friend and Carol Danvers Lover. It doesn't quite help that She Hulk also ends up in a coma due to that fight.
Tony goes on to abduct the Inhuman to scan his brain. Of course he gets captured but while that happens Ulysses sees another Vision and everyone else sees it too this time. The Hulk snaps and kills everyone. Yikes.

Now things are about to get interesting. Or are they?

This looks bad. How to you react to that? Not like Carol did, that's for sure.

A huge group of Hereos confront Banner about this. He gets angry but before anything catastrophic can happen a special Arrow pierces his brain.
So this is the most controversial thing that happens in this event.
The killer obviously is Hawkeye but Hawkeye usually doesn't kill. It's really out of character for him.
And it's uncertain if Banner would have even been able to turn into the Hulk as he was supposedly cured. But during Uncanny Avengers his resurrected corpse is able to Hulk up.
Barton says his eyes turned green but no one else saw that.
Banner did indeed give him a special arrow to kill him if necessary but was it necessary?
This questions aren't really answered in the event nor are they answered in the Comics at this point in time in general.
This is where the plot of CW II falls kind of apart and instead getting finally straight to the fighting we get a trial, insecure Heroes and a funeral.
At this point during the first Civil War SHIELD had already tried to shoot Captain America and Tony Stark & Co had already build a prison for Super Villains in the negative Zone and they were throwing in fellow Heroes who didn't happen to agree with them. And then there was the violent Thor clone...
What I am saiyng is that the first Civil War was really stupid.
Sure it changed the Marvel Landscape which gave birth to some truelly great stories but the War itself was just plain dumb and full of out of character behavior.

Civil War II on the other Hand is ... lacking. It's better written as a whole and it's nice to see the Characters trying to figure out solutions by doing some talking but both sides are to stubborn and they end up fighting anyway for a bit. Then they stop again. Inbetween both main characters act stupid in many ways (Carol holds a woman captive even though she seems to be innocent just because she believes in the Visions, Tony abducted Ulysses and initates the first Superhero skirmish) Then we get an all out fight between Carol and Tony over the fate of Miles Morales who is shown in a Vision to kill Steve Rogers.
Speeeeeaking of.
What makes reading Civil War II quite a bit better is the fact that Steve Rogers aka Captain America aka the bestest and nicestest goodestest Guy imaginable (well okay he's much more complicated than that but you get the idea) acts like he always does BUT it is all an act.
Right now and due a storyline I won't get into now Caps past has been altered making him an Agent of Hydra and he manipulates EVERYTHING.
I'd suggest everyone who is interested in reading Civil War II to read his current book parallel to it.
It enhances many scenes to know that he is constantly planning the downfall of everyone around him including the main actors of the event because he is the one person everyone trusts.

But back to Civil War itself. The Comic ends with Ulysses leaving earth, becoming something more than (In)human as a cosmic beings as his powers grow and grow.

Hm... I was so sure he would end up being or becoming a Villain in the End but I guess that is Rogers part. Before that we see him traveling to Old Man Logans World and Time which is actually pretty damn nice.
It's only with the last issues that it becomes clear that this event is more of a catalyst for future storylines and we actually do get a few hints whats to come in the next few years which is also nice.
But it doesn't help the event itself that it doesn't have an actual ending.
Sure many things changed but they wouldn't have needed a Civil War to go there.
The Comic shouldn't have even been named Civil War in the first place as it's nothing like the first one and it's isn't really a war either.
Avengers vs X-Men. That was a war. That was high stakes, epic battles and a lot of participants.
It was also pretty great at that.
Civil War II was more of a disagreement with casualties.

Conclusion: Calling Civil War II the worst event ever is hyperbole bullshit at it's finest. It's not even the worst Marvel event of 2016 because that would be Death of X which had about as much quality as Ultimatum just with a much lower body count.
It is however Bendis weakest event so far by a landslide and I now know how Scarlet Witch Fans must have felt during Disassembled or Cyclops Fans during AvX because the poop-guy of this event was my favourit Guy: Clint Barton.

Still I always told people to stop whining so much so I won't do it now either. Besides I'd rather read 300+ Issues of Hawkeye going all Punisher on the Marvel Universe written by Bendis than seeing him in the hands of Lemire again.
Matt over and out.

Review: Assassin's Creed (Movie)

(Beware of Spoilers)

In case you have never played an Assassin's Creed Game:

It's actually a Sci-Fi series and you play people who use a device called the Animus in order to relive memories of certain ancestors which revolve around a century old war between the Order of the Templars and the Order of the Assassins who have both very different opinions on how to save/ rule the world. Thats is all you need to know.

So there is some kind of unwritten rule to Movie adaptations of Videogames and said rule says they have to.. well yeah..suck.
Okay that is not entirely fair as Prince of Persia was quite good and so was the first Tomb Raider Film... I think.
I was a teenager when I saw it. Could have just been me liking Angelina Jolie in shorts.
But I guess we can all agree on the fact that the Sequel killed all the goodwill anyway.

In any case: Movies based on videogames tend to be really, really bad and people are waiting patiently for a (nother) Movie to break the curse, to defy the unwritten rule.

And now the question is: Could Assassin's Creed be that Movie?
Short answer: No.

Long answer:
What is it people love about the Assassin's Creed Games?
Is it the Sci-Fi stuff with the animus and everything?
Or is it the parkour stuff with stylish take down moves inbetween?

I'm asking because in the Movie we don't get much from the latter. We don't see much of the past (15th century btw) and the Assassine named Aguilar at all.
Instead we get to see a lot more of a guy called Callum Lynch, an ancestor of that Assassine.
Lynch isn't exactly the most interesting protagonist but he is no blank slate either and it certainly helps that the actor portraying him, Michael Fassbender, seemingly REALLY wanted this Movie to be good.
Because he gives it his best and you can see that in every scene.
Sadly that can't be said about pretty much anyone else. Villains, relatives, captured assassins... they all seem to be bored to death. Except for like one guy who tries at times to be funny in a Movie that doesn't do fun.

Don't get me wrong here. I am not saying the Movie is bad because it is not "funny". It doesn't have to be a comedy.
The Movie is bad because it's boring. Exposition left and right, missing character development front and center and a broody and overly dramatic atmosphere that just doesn't work as it's just exhausting after the first 20 or so minutes.

Yes the action scenes are alright for the most part and yes they clearly tried to stay close to the source material (except for the animus itself which is a robotic arm with a claw that holds the subject instead of a normal table/chair for whatever reason) but from Assassin's Creed 2 onwards these Games have been filled to the brim with charming, colorful characters while the Movie is not.

Look, Interesting characters! They even interact!
(Though I'm still mad about what they did with Lucy only because her voice actress didn't want to continue.)

Sure there are one or two people who have the potential to be interesting. One of them is Aguilar's female Lover and Sidekick but she doesn't get to do much. Everything she does, Aguilar does better.
They are about to be executed? Aguilar saves them both.
They fight their way through a massive wave of enemies to escape? Aguilar saves her ass.
They ambush the Main Villain and his Troops? She gets herself captured.

At one point she even falls of a cliff and we never see how she survived it and in the next scene she is back with Aguilar. Maybe I missed something but she is, in any case, wasted.

The Movie wouldn't be much different without her and that is sad considering she clearly is ment to be an important character. But with that she gets off better than the other female lead, Sophia Rikkin.

She is the daughter of the Boss of the Company that holds Lynch captured and is supposed to be a moraly complex character I guess. Too bad her motivations make even less sense than Lynchs.
Both seem to have a change of heart multiple times for no real reason.

So yeah and if all that wasn't enough:

The Movie is ugly.
We either get stale, cold hallways or foggy setpieces from the 15th century that look like Call of Duty Maps. Grey in grey, brown in brown and nothing else.

Let's move on to the...

...Conclusion:

Assassin's Creed is a boring movie. Some things work *cough* Fassbender *cough* but most things don't. [Insert sad emoticon here]